Hey There to My Future Self

fromthelostdays @ 2007-04-26T06:47:00

2007-04-26T10:58:49Z

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

fromthelostdays @ 2006-12-27T03:47:00

2006-12-27T08:47:03Z

I... God... what?

fromthelostdays @ 2006-12-18T18:12:00

2006-12-18T23:12:03Z

*end of a ball of twine tied securely to the doorknob, check*

*backpack full of sandwiches and bottled water, check*

*and it's off into the void with Heather, to deliver food to you poor rubes without kitchens*

((OOC ETA: Dozing off for a while now, but if you want to get a food delivery/run into Heather in the void/whatever go ahead and comment and I'll get back to it later.))

fromthelostdays @ 2006-10-20T15:26:00

2006-10-20T15:30:42Z

Since I haven't done one in awhile, and they're going around again, relationship meme for Heather and Molly!

Though I can't promise their opinions will have changed any if I've done this for you before, since Heather tends to stick to first impressions forever unless something big happens to change her mind about someone, and Molly defaults towards being friendly to everyone.

fromthelostdays @ 2006-10-10T10:02:00

2006-10-10T10:03:10Z

✓ I arrived here willingly - at first.	× I live in one of the official camp cabins. (I did for almost a year before moving.)	✓ I'm from Earth.
× I use the moogles regularly.	✓ I don't mind the audience. (That depends on the member.)	× In camp, I've (been) adopted (by) someone, in the absence of my own negligent friends or family.
× I'm the last (or one of the last) survivors of my kind.	× I'm proficient in hand-to-hand combat. (Eh, I can hold off someone who isn't proficient at it, but I'd rather have a weapon.)	× Back home, I'm dead.
× I've had an encounter with the tentacle monster.	× I use sparkles regularly.	✓ I'm human (or close enough).

* * * * *

✓ I speak English.	✓ In the past week, I've had an encounter with the zombies, gorillas and/or other fauna. (Killing them, yes.)	× I top. (Whichever way, I don't care.)
× Back home, I have a sister. (...)	× I've been traumatized by something an audience member has shown me .	✓ I've made out with someone - or something - at camp. (Duh.)
✓ I can swim. (And I'm good at it.)	× I've consumed Ash's milk.	× I want to go home. (Hmm...)

You can to this meme, or Create your own!

fromthelostdays @ 2006-10-07T00:03:00

2006-10-07T00:06:58Z

Time of year for this meme again, huh?

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
fromthelostdays goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as anything but a witch.
_superdork_ tricks you! You get a scratched CD.
angelamourpeach tricks you! You get a rock.
classprotector gives you 2 red coconut-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
constant_craver gives you 19 tan mint-flavoured gummy bats.
hascoldhands tricks you! You get a 3.5-inch floppy disc.
knowing_smile gives you 1 yellow cinnamon-flavoured nuggets.
latrine_orderly tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
still_walking tricks you! You get an eraser.
fromthelostdays ends up with 21 pieces of candy, a scratched CD, a rock, a 3.5-inch floppy disc, and an eraser.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

...You know, if Excel managed to get into my bag to get any candy? I think she'd grab all of it and run, not settle for just one. If she did just want one piece, she could just ask for it instead of tricking me.

Quotes meme

2006-10-03T16:06:09Z

The farther behind I leave the past, the closer I am to forging my own character. - Isabelle Eberhardt

The Past is to be respected and acknoledged, but not to be worshiped. It is our future in which we will find our greatness. - Pierre Trudeau

You're alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounded like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act. - Barbara Hall, A Summons to New Orleans, 2000

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them. - Jane Austen

The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt. - Thomas Merton

fromthelostdays @ 2006-09-27T01:06:00

2006-09-27T05:07:33Z

Dating Strengths	Dating Weaknesses
1. Varied Interests - 85.7% 2. Financial Situation - 76.9% 3. Adventurousness - 75% 4. Sense of Humor - 71.4% 5. Open-Mindedness - 63.6%	No significant weaknesses

Dating Strengths Explained
Varied Interests - You don't limit yourself, and that's a dating asset. Your varied interests make you available and interesting to a wider range of guys. Financial Situation - You've got your financial situation under control, which is a very desirable quality. Be careful to avoid guys who are only interested in your money. Adventurousness - You are willing to try new things and be spontaneous. You want to get out there and really live, and you will attract people with a similar love of life. Sense of Humor - Guys are attracted to people with a good sense of humor. Be sure to put yours on display! Open-Mindedness - You are open to trying new things and entertaining new ideas, and this widens your pool of available guys.
Dating Weaknesses Explained

Dating Strengths and Weaknesses Quiz by Dating Diversions

So... I guess I'm just a totally awesome person to date? You can all go ahead and be jealous of Kabuto now, if you want.

fromthelostdays @ 2006-09-25T18:58:00

2006-09-25T23:00:03Z

I'm mostly just posting this because of how hilariously wrong a lot of it is. Excel? Shy and nonconfrontational? *snickers*

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Momoko is your soulmate.

You truly love Kon.

You consider Kabuto your true friend.

You know that Buffy is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Elphaba for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Russel is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Ami is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Wolfwood is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Wolfwood changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Excel is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Excel has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?

fromthelostdays @ 2006-09-18T20:46:00

2006-09-19T00:54:58Z

You scored as XVI: The Tower. If badly aspected this can be the worst card of the Tarot deck. The Tower always indicates upheavel, possibly chaos, loss and destruction. Its effects are never pleasant and can be painful. The card illustrates lightning striking the Tower. The lightning cannot be avoided, the destruction it brings is inevitable. All we can do is attempt to survive and rebuild. The Tower brings sudden, severe change. When the Tower appears in a Tarot spread it represents sudden and possibly violent change, disruption or loss.

</td>

XVI: The Tower

100%

III - The Empress

88%

II - The High Priestess

81%

VIII - Strength

75%

XIII: Death

69%

VI: The Lovers

63%

X - Wheel of Fortune

63%

0 - The Fool

56%

I - Magician

50%

IV - The Emperor

44%

XV: The Devil

44%

XIX: The Sun

44%

XI: Justice

38%

Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

...100%, huh? Joy.

It's wrong anyway, even if the mean does fit my life. I know which card is mine.

fromthelostdays @ 2006-09-10T04:21:00

2006-09-10T08:38:10Z

This one's interesting, I guess. Though I really don't think I'm that disagreeable. There're more charts about the traits that go into each personality thing and descriptions for each of them if you want "insight into my personality" enough to look at the full report.

My Personality


Neuroticism	25
Extraversion	8
Openness To Experience	58
Agreeableness	0
Conscientiousness	51

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

MySpace Surveys, MySpace Layouts and hi5 by Pulseware Survey Software

You are introverted, reserved, and quiet with a preference for solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends. You are generally calm and composed, reacting moderately well to situations that most people would describe as stressful. A desire for tradition does not prevent you from trying new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual. People see you as tough, critical, and uncompromising and you have less concern with others' needs than with your own. You are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled.

fromthelostdays @ 2006-09-07T17:18:00

2006-09-07T21:27:19Z

Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by darkman424

...The roasted dog wasn't even in Silent Hill, so I don't know what it has to do with escaping it. And I don't get what some of these pictures have to do with my interests, even though they're in order. What's a graduating ant have to do with cultists? Or a smashed fly with not drinking milk? ...I guess I can kinda see the connection between Claudia and Valtiel.

It's a nice picture of Kabuto, though.

fromthelostdays @ 2006-08-21T05:41:00

2006-08-21T09:46:36Z

Buffy-type relationship meme!

Comment with what your characters think my characters think of them, and I'll comment back to tell you how on the mark they are.

An' now I'm gonna go to sleep.

fromthelostdays @ 2006-07-29T04:07:00

2006-07-29T08:11:47Z

As I'm a sucker for a bandwagon, if there's anything you'd like me to essay at you about, ask here.

fromthelostdays @ 2006-07-12T07:13:00

2006-07-12T11:19:20Z

Age: 18 (birthday's November 26th, has had one in camp)
Height: 5'7.5"
Eyes: Usually yellowish-brown (which I realized, like, ten months into playing her are quite probably colored contacts, but since it's never actually stated in canon I'll just ignore that thought!).
Hair: Brown. One of the very first things she's going to do after getting out of camp is get a cheap hotel room and bleach the hell out of it again.

Medical Info: Heather's never had any vaccinations or anything, because she's never visited any sort of doctor in her life before camp what with the whole all her records saying she's seven years older than she is thing. But Cheryl and Alessa's immune systems may have been passed to her to make up for it or something. For the most part she's totally healthy, except her womb is a giant mess. Such a mess that it's part of her digestive tract. Normal people might go "Okay, every time they mentioned the God inside of her they said it was in her womb, but then she ended up throwing it up, so they must have been wrong and it was growing in her stomach instead." I see it come out her mouth and think it's much more interesting if that happened because The God, in one last burst of malice as it's being forced out, used its powers to fuck her innards up so if it can't be born from there nothing else will either.
This doesn't hurt Heather, since it changed her whole system so she's able to handle it, but she can feel the difference.
Physical traits: Heather's covered in freckles all the time. They're placed according to where the burns on her as Alessa were (meaning, they're everywhere but an area where the burning went down deep enough to ruin muscle would be much more thickly freckled than somewhere where the skin wasn't even totally destroyed). She hates them, but is mostly used to them.

She also has tons of scars, due to monsters shooting, stabbing, biting, and otherwise mangling her. The worst of these are all on her torso, so they're hidden by her clothes most of the time. Ones that're usually noticeable are the bite scars on her legs when she's wearing her skirt, the tip of a scar from a knife-wound near her throat except when she's wearing her turtleneck, a small burn scar on the back of her neck, one from a slash across her stomach when her vest's open and she's not in her turtle neck, and various ones on her arms.

What's Okay To Mention Around Her: Anything about her being a game character. An audience member told her she was fictional, like, a week into her being at camp. She thought they were crazy at first, of course, but she couldn't really keep thinking that when she noticed all the people fictional in her world around. She's very comfortable with it, though, and totally willing to chat about it as long as you don't think you have a right to discuss private matters just because you know them.

And it's totally okay with me if you say something that could be taken as insulting to her father, but you should know that it'll enrage Heather and she will never forgive you.

Notes for the Psychics: Heather's packed to the brim with rich, creamery, hatred! She's not hiding it or anything, it's just all directed towards the cult so without any cultists here it only shows when she's talking about them. And, since she avoids talking about her past, well.

Heather also has a big old mental wall (that gets more and more cracked the more she remembers her past) up, dividing the delicious, nougaty, center that's her from the howling wastes that is the majority of her mind. Past the wall you'll find a hunk of Alessa's mind that didn't fully merge with Heather's when she was created (the bit that formed the Memory of Alessa boss) which probably seems like a crazy, suicidal, alternate personality to anybody who doesn't know about her past life issues. And that part of her mind also houses Alessa's massive amount of insanity and delusions caused by being forced to stay alive for seven years burnt to the point of death. You might also know this as her shape of The Otherworld, stored in her head when it's not being pulled out for walking around in.
Abilities: Skilled in many different types of weapons, and fast at picking up new ones well enough to kill stuff with them. Eye lasers. Magical girl transformation that you're unlikely to ever see unless she really needs the stronger eye lasers that come with it. Pulling The Otherworld into the real world, or pushing herself or others into it. Making monsters. Controlling those monsters, if her rage is focused enough at one target to push them at it, although the second that target's dead (or done something to shake the rage) they'll turn on her. Various other things. If she could ever remember how to do it she could kill people with a thought.

But the only magic that really matters when it comes to other humans is the ability to put up an unbreakable barrier (which sustains itself on her life), because she won't fight them unless they've done something to earn her hate. She'll just shove up the barrier then pull herself into The Otherworld and walk someplace else through it right after she's attacked.
Can I shapeshift/bodyswap/spit at/step on/etc?: Heather's never going to bodyswap with anyone. But you can turn into her or people she knows if you want, or do whatever else.
Hugging/Kissing/Other non-violent physical contact:You can, but she'll be very put-out with you . She dislikes physical contact that she doesn't initiate unless it's from someone she loves. If she has touched you before (and it wasn't because you had the deaging disease and her weakness to children) she'll allow you to touch her as far as she's touched you (say, Kira could come up and hug her if he wanted because she's hugged him before) though she'll be uncomfortable with it. And people who she'd be willing to hug if they needed it can too.

Anybody else touching her will be punched in the face if it's a hug and they haven't either asked permission or ignored her when she said no, piped in the head if they try kissing or groping her, and beaten up worse than that/possibly shot if they succeed in groping. Unless she thinks of you as a friend (by which I mean Chizuru would just get smacked upside the head or something on that level). Lesser offenses than hugging won't be met with violence, but she will move right away and be kinda POed though she probably won't show it.
Fighting: Like I said, she won't fight people unless they've done something like injure Kabuto. If your character wants to try picking a fight with her, or sneak up on her and stab her, or whatever that's fine, but she'll just remove herself. And, if they do stab her, be aware they'll then have an angry medical ninja to deal with (though if she has reason to suspect the person who did it was possessed or something she won't name names).
Maim/Murder/Death: Any, though, of course, you need to get the drop on her before she protects herself. But you might want to know that maiming her's pretty much the same as killing her (unless she has an ampoule handy) because she'll shoot herself in the head and go back to her last save right after rather than deal with it any longer than that. The only exception is if Kabuto's standing by watching or if he ever decided to stay in the cabin all day long so she wouldn't be able to use the save point without him noticing when she suddenly comes up from the basement, because she knows he isn't all blase about her dying the way she is and isn't willing to hurt him like that.

Cooking/Baking: Back home she's been cooking every meal for most of her life. At camp, now that she has a kitchen, she's cooking most meals for herself and Kabuto, as well as occasional things for the whole camp. She likes cooking, and baking, even though she only originally started it to get better food than what her father made, and she's good at it. And she's getting even better at camp, from the early days when she had to stretch herself to come up with good things to make from the few edible ingredients available. Before cooks got to camp she used to mostly keep quiet about her ability to cook, because she didn't want people to bug her about making food they could eat for them (she does the same thing with her first aid skills usually) but now that cooked food's easy enough to get she doesn't mind people knowing.

fromthelostdays @ 2006-07-07T17:20:00

2006-07-07T21:20:42Z

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now. (A couple of people.)	✓ I don't watch much TV these days. (Technically. Because I watch everything on my computer instead.)	✓ I own lots of books. (Does it count that I inherited half of them?)
× I wear glasses or contact lenses. (I have worn contacts before, but only colored ones. My vision's 20/20.)	✓ I love to play video games. (If all my gaming shirts didn't give it away already.)	× I've tried marijuana.
× I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	× I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes. ("Sometimes." Yeah.)	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (And a couple of months, but yeah.)	✓ I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. (For cutting other things, not myself, which is what I assume they're trying to imply with the razor part.)

* * * * *

✓ I have broken someone's bones. ("Someone's.")	× I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. (I'm not ashamed. It's just not not most people's business.)	× I hate the rain.
✓ I'm paranoid at times. (Hahahahahaha ha. "At times" is says.)	× I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	× I need/want money right now.
× I love sushi.	× I talk really, really fast.	✓ I have fresh breath in the morning.
× I have long hair. (I never have, other than when I wasn't capable of cutting it myself.)	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	× I have at least one sibling.
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	× I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.	× I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
× I like the way that I look.	✓ I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	× I am usually pessimistic.
× I have a lot of mood swings.	✓ I think prostitution should be legalized. (For the health of the prostitutes, yeah.)	× I slept with a roommate. (I would, if the damn no-sex rule would lift.)
✓ I have a hidden talent. (I guess you could call it that.)	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	✓ I have a lot of friends. (Now I do.)
× I have pecked someone of the same sex.	× I enjoy talking on the phone.	× I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
✓ I love to shop and/or window shop.	× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. (Embarrassment wouldn't be the word for what I'd be feeling if she ever came back from the dead near me.)
× I have a mobile phone.	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. (I drink, but never that much.)	✓ I've rejected someone before. (But never until after I was taken, weirdly.)
✓ I currently like/love someone. (Gosh, I'm sure this one's such a surprise to you all.)	✓ I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	✓ I want to have children in the future. (Adopt, anyway. Having's not possible.)
✓ I have changed a diaper before. (Lots of babysitting experience.)	× I've called the cops on a friend before.	✓ I'm not allergic to anything. (As far as I know.)
✓ I have a lot to learn. (Who doesn't?)	× I am shy around the opposite sex.	✓ I'm online 24/7, even as an away message. (But only because it's the main way of keeping track of people around here.)
× I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before. (Alcohol. The only drugs I've ever taken are painkillers.)	× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
× I own the "South Park" movie. (It replays on Comedy Central so often that that'd be pretty pointless.)	× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	✓ I enjoy some country music.
✓ I would die for my best friends. (For the people I love, yes. Gladly.)	× I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
✓ I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. (Not the last one so much, though.)	× I have dated a close friend's ex.	✓ I am happy at this moment. (Content's a better word for it, really, but basically.)
× I'm obsessed with guys. (With only one guy, actually.)	✓ Democrat.	× Republican.
✓ I don't even know what I am. (I'm not talking politically.)	× I am punk rockish.	✓ I go for older guys/girls, not younger. (I'm not interested in 'go'ing for anyone other than Kabuto now, but if things were different, yeah.)
× I study for tests most of the time.	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	× I can work on a car.
× I love my job(s).	✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now.	× I have more than just my ears pierced.
× I walk barefoot wherever I can. (I like going barefoot, but I won't again until after camp. Just because it worked out incredibly well for me once doesn't mean it will again.)	× I have jumped off a bridge. (I've jumped off a roller coaster track. That count?)	× I love sea turtles.
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. (Nope. I wear lipstick sometimes, and that's it.)	× I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	× I am proficient on a musical instrument.
× I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	✓ I am adopted.
× I am a pyro. (So completely the opposite.)	× I have thrown up from crying too much.	✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. (...Twice. By different people.)
× I fall for the worst people. (I've only fallen for one person, and he's wonderful.)	× I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	✓ I can pick up things with my toes. (As long as they're small enough for my toes to grasp.)	× I can't whistle.
✓ I have ridden/owned a horse. (Ridden. Not owned. Now I own a riding bird, though.)	× I still have every journal I've ever written in.	× I talk in my sleep. (I have no idea. It's never come up.)
× I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	× I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
× I have a tattoo.	× I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	× I am a caffeine junkie. (I like health drinks better for energy rushes.)
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	✓ If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder. (But she died just before I could.)	✓ I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better. (I don't consider it collecting, but yeah.)
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner. (I'm not a big wine person.)	✓ I'm an artist. (For fun.)	× I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.	× I have terrible teeth.
× I hate my toes. (...They're just toes.)	✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me. (Were we supposed to be?)	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
✓ I have lived in either three different states or countries. (Massachusetts, Oregon, and now Louisiana.)	× I am extremely flexible. (I'm flexible enough, but not, like, double-jointed or anything.)	× I love hugs more than kisses. (Depends on who's giving them. I don't like either from most people.)
× I want to own my own business.	× I smoke. (I did. I haven't in over a year.)	× I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
✓ Nobody has ever said I'm normal. (But I've never asked.)	× Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.	✓ I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
× I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.	× I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.	× I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
× I have played strip poker with someone else before.	× I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	✓ I believe in ghosts and the paranormal. (Ha. I couldn't not.)
× I can't stand being alone. (I can't stand being around lots of people.)	× I have at least one obsession at any given time.	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	× I'm a judgmental asshole. (Sometimes, but not always so I'm not marking it.)	× I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent. (I'd like to someday, but haven't yet.)	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear. (Never.)	× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
× I am a Libertarian.	✓ I can speak more than one language. (I'm saying that bad French counts. It doesn't way I can speak more than one language well.)	✓ I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be. (I sleep like the dead wherever.)
× I would rather read than watch TV. (That depends on what's on TV and what I have to read.)	× I like reading fact more than fiction.	× I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
× I have no piercings.	× I have spent the night in a train station or other public place. (Not the night, but I have slept in public places while they were open.)	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it. (... Not cried.)	✓ I like most animals better than most people.
✓ I own a collection of retro games consoles. (If by consoles you mean emulators.)	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	× I have hit someone with a dead fish.
× I am compulsively honest.	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired. (Sorta-kinda. But what it is has been repaired. And fucked me up in different ways while it happened.)	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
× I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.	✓ I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to. (Not often, but sometimes.)
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	✓ I dislike milk. (No milk again ever.)	× I obsessively wash my hands.
✓ I always carry something significant around with me. (Several things.)	× Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.	× I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother. (...)	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.	✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
✓ I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time. (More than once.)	✓ Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts.	× I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing. (It's a job. Everyone needs one.)	× I don't like to chew gum.
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	× I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
× I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.	× I love to sing.
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up. (Jesus, no.)	× I have a custom-built computer.	✓ I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it. (But the zero percent is for a different reason than you'd think.)
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	✓ I've gone skinny-dipping.	× I've performed in three plays.
× I enjoy burritos.	✓ I'm Irish and loving it. (I'm Irish-American, anyway. I don't care enough to love it.)	× I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin! (I have the same DNA as a couple of "other" people, but not because of that.)	× Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	✓ Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
✓ I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes. (Only a couple. But, yes.)	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day. (Depends on the day. And never in one big hunk of sleep.)	× I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
× I need more time to myself.	× I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
✓ I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend. (I have no idea what this one's supposed to mean.)	× I say random things to freak people out. (Not at random, no. But I do like freaking people out sometimes.)
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note. (I still don't know what this is.)	× I love playing Truth or Dare. (It depends on if I'm playing with people I trust or not.)	✓ I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it. (Not "hate" but I don't like to.)
× Music helps me remember that I am not alone.	× Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.	✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	× I can only hate someone that I love. (...No. I have hated people I loved, and every time I've hated someone it's been because of love, but I can hate people I don't love, no problem.)	× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks. (I've never ordered an Americano, so no.)

((OOC))

2006-07-04T02:14:04Z

I've said several times that Heather acts friendly to almost everyone, since it's what she was sent to camp to learn to do, but she doesn't really care all that much about most people. So, since I'm kinda bored (and have a new icon that makes this much easier to tell) I figured I'd take a minute or two to write down

How to Tell When Heather Genuinely Likes You.

1. If you're Kabuto, obviously.

2. If you die, there's a big sermon/mourning post for you, and Heather actually shows up. She won't go and pretend to mourn someone if she doesn't actually care. She thinks it's disrespectful to the people who do care.

The exception to this is if someone she does genuinely care about is upset by your death. Then she'll show up to support them. For example, way back when she turned up in Anakin's eulogy post to be with Kabuto.

3. If she's injured (doesn't matter if it's physically or emotionally), and she's willing to be near you. Heather has a somewhat animalesque reaction to being hurt; she gets wary and goes to ground. If she comes up to you or lets you know where to find her when she's in this state, she probably really likes you. She's like this right now, actually. Since coming out of The Otherworld she's talked to all of three people: Russel, Saya (but because she thought she was Momoko for a second when she started speaking), and Lupin (because he was funny, and she does trust him not to do anything to harm her, at least). Another example is back right after The Gentlemen had been destroyed. She would not have let Inui know where to find Renji's heart if she didn't like him enough to let him see her when she was breaking down in the same place.

The exception is if there's another Beloved incident when she's seriously injured, Kabuto can't help, and he tells her to find someone else to treat her. Or if she's lying around dying, needs help from the first person who can get to her, and Kabuto isn't close enough to be it, although in that case she's more likely to quietly stay out of view and wait to be restored to her last save. (Incidentally, I've said fairly often that Heather's first choice when seriously injured is always just to shoot or otherwise kill herself, so you might be wondering why she didn't try it during the Beloved incident. That's because Kabuto saw her before she could try it, and she veers from the course of action the second he'd know about her dying to be hurt by it.)

4. Newest and easiest way! If she uses this icon--

--at you with the keywords 'genuinely fond of you' it means she's, well, genuinely fond of you. Any other keywords don't count on this one, and there aren't any exceptions to it.

fromthelostdays @ 2006-06-22T15:59:00

2006-06-22T20:04:16Z

Might as well do the interview meme this time. So, ask if you want to know what one of my characters thinks about things and stuff.

May be answered in or out of character, depending on the question. Also might take a while to get to, because I'm distracted by a video game right now.

OOC

2006-06-21T18:30:46Z

Who'm I to pass up a bandwagon?

Comment if you want to know what any of my characters think about you. Though, if you commented the last time I did this, Heather's opinion at least probably hasn't changed much. She tends to stick with first impressions, just... more so as time goes by.

((OOC))

2006-06-20T17:53:05Z

Been meaning to do this for a while.

Just going straight down the list and only doing ones she uses often, because if I tried doing them all I'd get bored before I hit all 103. All of them might be used for other things too, I'm just putting down what comes to mind when I look at them.

- She's really missing Douglas, or whatever she's talking about upsets her, or she feels like the person she's talking to has put a target on her back but isn't all the worried about it, or she's depressed about Silent Hill or The Otherworld.

- Usually only used when she's depressed. More often than not because she's talking about her past. But it occasionally also gets used because she's talking about cars.

- She's flirting. Often with a good dose of teasing or sarcasm. One of her generally Kabuto-only icons.

- She's talking about her past, but probably isn't depressed about it. Usually used when she's specifically talking about her other selves, though it might be also be about her position in the cult.

- She is shocked, shocked I tell you.

- She's loving. Another one usually just pointed at Kabuto, but also sometimes used at other people when she's talking about him, he dad, Piper, or anyone/thing else she loves. Kind of funny how this came to be the love icon, actually. At the time I didn't have any icons that were at all happy looking, and most of them were out-and-out threatening, depressing, or disturbing. So, she was suddenly love-potioned, I needed some icon to indicate this but didn't have any free slots to add a new one and didn't want to delete the ones I had, so finally I decided 'Hey, yellow's a happy color! That'll do it!' and it's been that way ever since. Maybe I ought to give it another keyword to indicate that someday, but I think having 'face peeling' as her keyword when she's loving is funny.

- One of my favorite icons! I like all the negative space, and the way her flashlight makes her look like she's glowing. Used when she's surprised by something, or is looking at something weird, or when I just want a chance to use it and it wouldn't look too out of place.

- Default image, because she has a fairly neutral expression. Used when I forget to pick an icon and don't feel like changing it, she's looking for something, she's using her flashlight, or occasionally when she's grilling someone.

- She's being sarcastic, but isn't trying to be mean with it. Or she's at a party.

- She's being sarcastic and is trying to be mean with it. If she uses this icon she's being a bitch on purpose for her own amusement, and may or may not be being subtle about it. Although you aren't necessary the victim of it, it could be pointed at whoever or whatever she's talking about. In which case, she either really likes you because she's willing to show that side of her sense of humor to you and hope you'll play with her, or she couldn't care less what you think of her.

- She's happy! Or cheering!

- She has her gun out but is either hesitant to use it, or afraid to. It will generally be the first.

- You are Kabuto, and she's being wily. Or else she's in the pool.

- Same as the last one, minus the pool part. Can be a bit more serious than the last one.

- Heather's upset, but won't let it pull her down.

- She thinks who she's talking to is stupid, or she's just done something stupid, or she's talking about something or someone she thinks is stupid, but she's keeping a straight face about it. Or she's discussing decapitations. Or she's trying to creep someone out with her icons.

- She doesn't want to let something go. Or she's still trying to creep someone out.

- I think the expression speaks for itself on this one.

- She's... not being unfriendly, but not being all that friendly either. Pretty neutral.

- She thinking about attacking/killing something. Possibly you. May or may not be purposely threatening.

- Like the keywords say, she's a little sad.

- Often starts out a conversation with this one. She's mentally casting judgment on you or the situation you're in.

- She's on her way to somewhere good, or is in a good mood while on the walk there.

- Usually she's being friendly, but sometimes she's just talking or explaining something.

- She's thinking things through. She looks upset in the icon, but usually isn't when using it.

- Another favorite icon! Whee evil horsies! Time's passing, or she's noticed there's less of something around, or, like the keywords say, she's otherwise keeping a mental countdown. Or she might be distracted, or have a bad feeling about something but not know what.

- She's gonna crack some heads. Or is just loving her pipe.

- Something bad's happening (or has happened and she's remembering it), and it doesn't have anything to do with monsters. Or her hatred of mirrors has come up. I really need to get a closer shot of this someday so bloody-drenched her in the mirror's more clear.

- Another one where she has a feeling something bad's going to happen. Or something's happened that made me want to use the icon with bright neon lights.

- Heather hates part of herself, and is talking about it. Or is having an internal fight with herself.

- She's being serious, and possibly a bit emotional.

- Although the keywords say groggy (since in the scene she's just sat up after waking up), but it's rarely used that way. Usually used as another thoughtful icon, and sometimes a bit wistful.

- Talking about or fighting monsters.

- She's going somewhere, but this time it's too a bad place or she's in a bad mood. It's also occasionally used to show that her morals are slipping because of whatever she's doing or saying in the post (see, it's all metaphorical with her running straight for the total blackness and all).

- She's using her eyelasers! Although, that's actually her Sexy Beam. The keywords just say Heather beam since that's the one she'd actually be using 99.9% of the time.

- She's either heading into The Otherworld, or she's emotionally totally shutting you out.

- UFOs! Used in characterly either when talking about aliens, or when she has absolutely no idea how to respond to something.

- She feels trapped, or watched, or is watching what she says because she's keeping herself closed off from you, or she's communicating from a distance.

- You might not notice, but this is an animated icon. There's blood dripping into the bucket. She's most likely being morbid. Or talking about sacrifice.

- Another obvious one, she's in mourning. Probably talking/thinking about her father's death.

- She's seriously upset, and probably thinking about God or the cult. Or she feels like she's being pulled apart.

- Same as above, except now she's upset to the point that it's making her feel ill. Or she's thinking about her inability to have children. Or she's just about to throw up.

- She's crying! But it's a cry that'll probably leave her feeling better once she's gotten it out. If she's actually crying, it's massive stress relief at the same time, because she won't let herself breakdown until whatever she's crying over has been taken care of, either by things getting better or her punishing whoever caused the situation.

- She's using a knife. Possibly threatening someone with it, but more likely either cooking or cutting something/one free.

- Okay, I think this smile is ugly but it's also much more likely to be real than the other one. If you get this smile whatever you've just said or the two of you are talking about has genuinely made Heather happy. Occasionally, if she uses it a whole bunch of times in a row, something's reminded her of just how great it is to be alive, and she's actually giddy with the joy of it.

- Another one where she's thinking about the past, Alessa specifically, but she isn't being really sad or upset about it. She might also be thinking about dying, or thinking that you'll be dying. The latin keywords are the spell she casts early on in (and fairly common gravestone inscription) the game thinking she's just reading a fairy tale out loud. Tu fui ego eris: "I was you; you will be me". Because she was dead she, like the resurrected priestess in the story, can kill other things with that spell (though, if she ever remembers how, she can also just kill people with her mind which'd render the spell redundant). Which is why she'll use the icon at people she thinks will die, though obviously the keywords were picked because she's looking at a picture of Alessa.

- Heather hates God.

- You're annoying her.

- She's examining something most people would think is gross, but is pretty much unmoved by it. Or she's unmoved by someone being in trouble. Or she's trying to gross you out again.

- She might just actually be looking up. She might be upset, she might be uneasy, or she might just be being serious.

- She feels isolated, or wants solitude. Or she's reminiscing about when life was still normal.

- Boozing.

- She talking about the hospital. Or dead people.

- She's talking about Valtiel.

- She's has out her pokemon, aw.

- She smiling, but more likely than not it's totally fake. If you're, let's see here... Kabuto, Kon, Momoko, Buffy, Ying, Kira, or a few other people I'm bound to be forgetting (Omi!), it's probably real because she really likes you. If not, she's probably plastering it on in her continued attempts to become a friendly person.

- Like the keywords say, she's totally content.

- I always forget I have this icon, which sucks because I like it a lot. She's noticed something, but is more curious than really shocked or surprised.

- Another religious icon, but if she's using this one she isn't being really bitter, hateful, or depressed about it. More likely than not she's talking to someone else about their religion, but she might also be talking about her own role in the cult without as much anger as usual, probably because she's talking about it detachedly.

- Either you're Kabuto, or she's being sappy about him at you.

- She's using her powers. I really really like it in the few canon images of her where her eyes look pretty orange, so I made that an indication of when she's actively using her magic.

- You're so damn stupid, or whatever's being discussed is, and she isn't even going to try and hide how she feels. Or she has a headache.

- Like the UFO icon, she usually uses this in character as a 'I have no idea how to respond to that' icon. Sometimes another talking about the hospital one too.

- She's wary.

- She's either asleep, or is only restraining herself from banging her head against a table/wall/tree/other hard thing because she told Kabuto she wouldn't do that.

- She's giving you directions, or the link to a website that'll explain something to you, or is actually physically leading you somewhere. Or you might be Sunako, in which case she's just using it because she always sticks to shadowy icons with her out of kindness.

- Another one where the keywords pretty much totally describe it. She feels sick, she's dying, or she's remembering the really bad parts of being Alessa.

- The only out and out threatening gun icon she has. If she uses this icon at you and you're not using the monster account? Then you are in deep shit with her. Unless you're Lady or Wolfwood or Sanzo or someone else who she'd just be showing off her gun to.

- She just needed a hugging icon.

- She's naked! What? I'll probably use them in character again someday. And art nudes are pretty. You sadly can't really see this once it's shrunk down to icon size, but in the one with her arms crossed over her chest the model has freckles all down her arm, which is entirely why I picked it.

Okay! So, I totally lied when I said I'd just do ones I used often. And this reminds me that I need to reupload the other one where she's kneeling, since it has a different, more active, feel to it. But now, if she ever uses an icon at you and you have no idea why, you have a handy-dandy reference guide. Unless you're as lazy as I am, in which case you wouldn't bother. Or unless I'm using it with one of the meanings I've forgotten to list. Oh well!

fromthelostdays @ 2006-06-11T00:54:00

2006-06-11T04:59:29Z

Just tossing these up here so I'll still know where they are when the character whoring posts disappears into the depths of campersfuck off. If you already read them there, there's no reason to bother clicking the cut.

Vincent being his usual sneaky self
"Heather. I--"

Heather blinked at Vincent. "How did you get into my cabin?"

"That's not important now. What is is--"

"No, seriously. The weedkiller's inside, there're boobytraps everywhere else, and you obviously didn't barge through the roses."

"I told you, that's not important." She forgotten just how whiney he could sound sometimes.

"Oh yes it is. You might be able to show up out of nowhere in Silent Hill, but this is my cabin. There's no way you could've gotten in." Except, obviously, he had.

She glared at him. He smirked back. She had a feeling this would take awhile.

Claudia deaged
Heather stared at the small blonde girl.

"Do you know where the church is?" the girl asked, staring at Heather with wide, fearful, eyes. "My daddy will be upset if I miss the sermon."

"...The only church around here doesn't give sermons," Heather said, unable to think of anything else.

The girl's eyes filled with tears. "Where's my daddy? Where's Alessa?"

Heather felt the hatred she'd carried for so long easing back, at least for awhile, as she leaned down and wrapped her arms tightly around the girl. "It's okay, little sister," she whispered, "I won't let anything hurt you."

Douglas shows up
"You old idiot!" Heather said, almost yelling, as soon as she saw him. "Couldn't you figure out it's dangerous here? Why'd you have to come?"

"I'm a detective," he said. It was so good hear his voice again that she almost wanted to cry. "You think I wouldn't look for my own missing person?"

"There's someone who would cry over your grave now! You can't just--"

He gingerly pulled her into a hug, ignoring how tense her body was. "It's been more than a year. You ever think I had to make sure I didn't need to cry over yours?

fromthelostdays @ 2006-05-31T23:39:00

2006-06-01T04:00:12Z

<td align="center">Your walk is:
Sort of like Kickboxing

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

...If I ever start flailing around like that in real life, would somebody please shoot me to put me out of my misery?

fromthelostdays @ 2006-05-22T04:46:00

2006-05-22T08:49:40Z

You're The Things They Carried!
by Tim O'Brien
Harsh and bitter, you tell it like it is. This usually comes in short,
dramatic spurts of spilling your guts in various ways. You carry a heavy load, and this
has weighed you down with all the horrors that humanity has to offer. Having seen and
done a great deal that you aren't proud of, you have no choice but to walk forward,
trudging slowly through ongoing mud. In the next life, you will come back as a water
buffalo.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

...

A water buffalo?

fromthelostdays @ 2006-05-18T20:33:00

2006-05-19T00:36:31Z

Baaaaaa... baaaaaaa...

I mean, reverse meme here. Tell me what your characters think of mine.

fromthelostdays @ 2006-03-13T14:20:00

2006-03-13T19:38:48Z

I should be sleeping. Instead I'm essaying. Because I r smrt that way.

Anyway, I've said a few times that my Heather forgave the woman in the confessional, and I thought I should actually, you know, explain why that's important enough to mention when I also make sure to say that she still just missed getting the Possession ending. ...And, uh, also explain what the hell that means for the vast majority of people around who've never played the game.

In the final area of SH3, the cult's church, there's a point where Heather enters a confessional and hears a woman's confession. What the woman says is

"Dear God, please forgive me. I know I’ll be put to death for the sins I’ve committed, and I’ll go to my death gladly and with a peaceful heart. But please, grant me just a small piece of your everlasting mercy. Let me see my child once within your Golden Gates. Send me not to Hell, but to Purgatory. Allow me to atone for my sins there. I’ll stand within the very flames of redemption no matter how they burn me. Forgive my wicked act of revenge, and deliver the soul of my poor murdered daughter. Please, also care for the soul of the girl whose life I have taken. God, I’m a child, trembling with fear as I stare at death. Soothe my tortured soul with your infinite mercy. Please forgive me."

far</i> the biggest thing you can do in the game to make yourself get the bad ending (if you're in a new game+, it's not possible to get anything but the normal ending your first time through), where Heather gets possessed and murders Douglas. To get that ending, you need to get 4000 points in the game. Each enemy you kill gets you ten points, and you get one point for each point of damage you receive, but forgiving the woman is worth a thousand points.

So, why's such a small moment in the game turn out to be such a huge deal? Well, lots of people have lots of different opinions about that. Not even all the creators of the game agree about what it's about, in the few things I've seen of them talking about it (though, heck, they could be doing that on purpose since they like leaving things open to speculation so much). Most people think that it's because if Heather forgives the woman she's accepting her role as the mother of god and that allows her to be possessed. However, instead I'm going by what I thought the purpose of the scene was the very first time I played SH3, when I knew that forgiving could lead to the bad ending ~~I always need to spoil myself on what to do to get each ending in an SH game before I start playing, lest I screw up and end up with the main character dying in a ditch somewhere, 'msosorryHarry.~~, and before I ever started hunting down other people's opinions about it.

By this point in the game, a lot of things have happened to change Heather's views of Claudia. She's met Leonard (Claudia's father), and remembered Dahlia, and know that as much of a nutcase who does horrible things as Claudia is, she's still a much better person than the ones who shaped her were. She knows that, in her own twisted way, Claudia's genuinely doing what she's doing because she believes it'll lead to every person on earth being happy forever after. And she knows that Claudia's doing all this for her, because once upon a time she wanted to create paradise too, and Vincent was totally wrong about which member of the Gillespie family it was that had Claudia "brainwashed". Everything that Claudia's done in her life, as far as we ever see, has been done for the love of Alessa, to fulfill the dreams she'd had when she was the seven-year-old with no idea of the cruelties it would take to make them come true that Claudia knew.

More than that, Heather remembered loving Claudia, "as if [she] were [her] real sister" even though she still hates her at the same time. When she talks about Claudia while in her remade old bedroom in the church, when Claudia's not actually right in front of her to remind Heather that now she's this adult who she hates, she talks about her fondly. She uses the term of endearment she used to call Claudia by when she's completely on her own and there's no chance that it'll help her out any like it might have when she tried using it to convince Claudia to give up on doing crazy things. She may not have all her memories back at that point, but she has enough so, like she says, she is Alessa even though she chooses to be Heather, and Alessa loves Claudia.

And, even after all that, if she forgives the woman in the confessional she shows that she still believes it's forgivable to murder someone for revenge. She's still in the same state of mind that she was in when she left for Silent Hill to begin with, the state of mind that Claudia deliberately put her in because it would nurture the god to the point where it could be born. In the end her hatred trumps her love, which is just what the god needed to get a grip on her.

And even though she managed to avoid that ~~because she's lucky enough to have been played on easy mode, where it's hard to get the 3000 points in damage and kill needed to push you over 4000~~, it still shapes who she is in camp. Mostly still has her eye for an eye policy on revenge, which is why if anyone hurts Kabuto she won't have the slightest twinge of guilt about fucking their shit up and then never forgiving them ever. And she does not let go when people get on her shitlist, although this mostly takes the form of her ignoring their existence for her own peace of mind.

And it's also rather important for her relationship with Kabuto, because even if he never tells her about the things he's done in the past she does pay enough attention to the Konoha-nin to to know that there's a reason that they hate him, but they killed his family. And no matter what she hears from them about him, to her it will always boil down to they killed his family and as such, in her eyes, he has the right to do whatever it takes to make him feel that Konoha's been adequately punished for that. But if she'd been willing to let go of her own lust for vengeance? Not so much.

Once I finally get my new PS2 so I can refer to the game instead of just relying on a depressingly incomplete game script and Google to back up my memory I might flesh this out a bit more, but, eh, until then this'll work.